In his book, Discourses on the Sufi Path, Dr. Javad Nurbakhsh, Master of the Nimatullahi Sufi Order, lists some of the qualities that exemplify the etiquette and ethics (called the adab) that a darvish strives to achieve. Only when all of them are perfected within a darvish can he or she hope to attain the polished heart which reflects only God's Love, and be called a Sufi. Here is the list.
1. The Sufi gives precedence to all of creation over himself.
2. The Sufi is fair to all, yet expect fairness from no one
3. The Sufi is kind and helpful to all, yet expects help and kindness from no one.
4. The Sufi is never self-centered or egocentric.
5. The Sufi serves all of God’s creation.
6. The Sufi always observes the rights of others.
7. The Sufi loves all of God’s creatures.
8. The Sufi praises all things created by God that are beautiful.
9. The Sufi harbors no resentment against anyone and regards no one as an enemy.
10. The Sufi takes the trouble to make things easy for others.
11. The Sufi never speaks with an acid tongue, always being kind and respectful toward others.
12. The Sufi is never pessimistic or depressed.
13. The Sufi never feels offended by anyone.
14. The Sufi neither complains about anyone nor claims anything for himself.
15. The Sufi is never mean or envious.
16. The Sufi never gets angry or harsh with anyone.
17. The Sufi keeps any promises he has made, even if his life must be sacrificed.
Many of these seem impossible to attain, which is why the Sufi path of Love may take a lifetime to achieve. And this is only a partial list. May Allah guide us on the straight path.