The Women in Our Lives – Happy Mother’s Day 2012 :)

May 12, 2012

Salaam and Greetings of Peace:

Everything I know of love, I’ve learned from women –  my mother, my daughter, and my wife. This is absolutely true. And more, all that I comprehend of God’s love and mercy, I have learned from their love; and even that small fraction of His infinite bounty has its root within my heart in the endless kindness and patience and endurance and generosity of these women.

My mother was the kindest, gentlest soul I have even known. I cannot think of even one instance where she considered her own needs before that of her children. I wish I could say the same for myself.

My daughter is simply remarkable. Smart and funny, tall and lovely, in whose company I take great delight. Every man should have such an honest critic :) She is a mother of two now, as is my daughter-in-law, so I will add to the list my darling granddaughters Hayley and Sophia. The pure love of children lights up the world.

And my beloved wife, who is the soul of patience with Lara and Quinn, her daughter and granddaughter, embodies all of those attributes, and many more, especially kindness and patience with my eccentricities :)

So on this Mother’s Day, here’s to the women in our lives. May we be worthy of them.

Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are — chaff and grain together — certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.

-George Eliot

Ya Haqq!


You only have what you give!

May 3, 2009

Salaam and Greetings of Peace:

Paralyzed and silent in her bed, my daughter Paula taught me a lesson that is now my mantra: You only have what you give. It’s by spending yourself that you become rich. …The pain of losing my child was a cleansing experience. I had to throw overboard all excess baggage and keep only what is essential. Because of Paula, I don’t cling to anything anymore. Now I like to give much more than I receive. I am happier when I love than when I am loved. I adore my husband, my son, my grandchildren, my mother, my dog, and frankly I don’t know if they even like me. But who cares? Loving them is my joy.

Give, give, give–what is the point of having experience, knowledge, or talent if I don’t give it away? Of having stories if I don’t tell them to others? Of having wealth if I don’t share it? I don’t intend to be cremated with any of it! It is in giving that I connect with others, with the world, and with the divine. In is in giving that I feel the spirit of my daughter inside me, like a soft presence.

- Isabel Allende, Chilean novelist, journalist, and dramatist.

Ya Haqq!


Grandpa Darvish…AGAIN!!!!

September 21, 2008

Salaam and Greetings of Peace:

Alhamdulillah! My daughter called and told me I am to be a grandfather… again!!! Now that both my beautiful daughter-in-law and daughter are pregnant, I am contemplating the joy of spoiling my future grandchildren and then returning them to their parents :) hehehe

Although it is still too early to know the gender of the children, it is never too soon to start saving for their education. So please, if you can, consider buying a copy of Master of the Jinn HERE (It would make an excellent Eid gift). Or the Mobipocket Ebook HERE. Or the Ebook for Amazon’s Kindle Book Reader HERE.

Inshallah, I will see them go to college :)

Ya Haqq!


The Wedding – Of Fathers and Daughters

June 12, 2008

Salaam and Greetings of Peace:

Thank you all for the kind words and prayers regarding my daughter’s recent wedding :)  I promised to write a post about it, though words failed me when trying to express the myriad emotions a father feels when walking his daughter down the aisle, and placing her hand in that of another man. Then a young reader of this blog wrote to me and asked the following:

How did it feel? The actual process of the marriage? Were you happy? Were you sad that she was leaving you? Did your heart at any given point in time feel a bit disappointed that you are no longer the only man in her life? And how does it feel now that after the marriage? Where the celebrations and congratulatory messages gradually die down and you get back to your normal life? Do you feel any difference?

To which I can only say: “All of the above.”

And yet…Alhamdulillah! She married a wonderful and kind man of whom I greatly approve and am honored to call my son-in-law. His parents are also very warm and kind and loving, so the process of marriage went smoothly as far as taking him into the family, and adding the extended family as well, so to speak. Of course the nafs want to hold on to the young girl that looked up to you and that you loved so much, but the heart, that overflowing fountain of love, wanted her to be happy more than anything else, and now, inshallah, she will be.

And it is different now, of course.  For her whole life, I knew her only as “my baby girl” and now she is another man’s wife. But a fine man, whom I came to love over the course of their engagement, so I am truly gaining another son, and not losing a daughter. This is not always the case in marriage, so I thank God that she has found a soul mate :)

Besides that, it’s time for her to begin the next part of life’s journey, and give me grandchildren, LOL. Inshallah, it will be so :)

So thank you, young brother, for inquiring. It is a blessing to set the thoughts down and makes my eyes water and my heart happy all over again :)

My wife is also very happy, of course, and recently wrote this, about loving children and letting them go, to a friend (the emphasis is mine):

You have to move yourself to Love.. You have poured love and goodness into her and that is all you can do. Sometimes the reward of these things is far down the road. I can tell you that I have loved my children during times when other parents I have known have all but turned their backs on theirs. What they do and say is not important, whether you believe that or not. What is important is how deeply and consistently they are loved. It is the place from which they center their entire lives. This is what Love of God and God’s Love for us, means. This is how we live what He intends. It is the source of everything.

Ya Haqq!


The New Morn – A Father/Daughter Poem

January 27, 2008

Salaam and Greetings of Peace:

This poem by our dear Sister Priya in tribute to her father moved me to tears of love and joy, and I received her permission to share it with you:

_______

In Bengal, India daughters are very much loved and adored by their fathers. They are often lovingly called Maa [mother], as if the father is a little child, to be taken care of, scolded and loved by the tiny mother …
It is a unique relationship. I have tried to capture the mood …hope my readers like it and strengthen the bond with their lovely daughters.

The New Morn

She was sitting on the floor ,
with all her tiny cups n saucers ……..making tea.
” baba …..o…baba….again you are sleeping?
pouting her sweet lips two little hands tugging a sleeve of my shirt,
as i was dozing in the warm morning sun in my chair
with the newspaper in my hand.

‘taste the tea’ she commanded ..
tea made of muddy water…
pride in her eyes ,
sweat glistening on her forehead.
i pretended to sip the tea,
she was hovering like a mother hen over her only baby …..

‘hurry up baba we will go to the market’
excitedly my little Maa said.
i smiled …..
hand in hand we went to the garden.
she picked up lots of different leaves ,
pebbles and dust lovingly, to cook for her son….
in her small pots and pans.

”baba….oh …baba can’t you sit still?’
she was serving dust rice, pebble meat and leaves
vegetable on a plate taken from her mom’s treasure.

‘after lunch we will go to the seabeach ‘
now she was thinking of going out …
different coloured dirt and dust,
made a rainbow on her dress.

i smiled lovingly…my little precious …
sea is not far….
she ran against the wind … barefeet laughed n
giggled.
sat on my lap ..told me all her stories all made
up…
where the prince and the princess,
goblin and the wizard all became one.
curly hair covered the tired, angelic face…
tiny little fingers hold on to my hand.
my Maa is feeling sleepy.

as i hugged her in my bosom n looked afar,
the sun was slowly going down the horizon,
dusk is setting in,
a beautiful fragrance engulfing us.
another year passing by, slowly very slowly,
my little angel, my two year old daughter
will see a bright new morn tomorrow…..

– from Priya’s Shree Shrees blog, of Monday, December 31st, 2007

Ya Haqq!


The Women in Our Lives

November 25, 2007

Salaam and Greetings of Peace:

In our Sister Suroor’s recent and lovely post about men, I commented that everything I know of love, I learned from women; my mother, my daughter, and my wife. This is absolutely true. And more, all that I comprehend of God’s love and mercy, I have learned from love; and even that small fraction of His infinite bounty has its root within my heart in the endless kindness and patience and endurance and generosity of women.

My mother was the kindest, gentlest soul I have even known. I cannot think of even one instance where she considered her own needs before that of her children. I wish I could say the same for myself. My daughter is remarkable. Smart and funny, tall and lovely, in whose company I take great delight. Every man should have such an honest critic :) And my beloved wife embodies all of those attributes, and many, many more.

So here’s to the women in our lives. May we be worthy of them.

Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are — chaff and grain together — certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.

-George Eliot


Ya Haqq!


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